Rambling Thoughts

To you, my dear best friends.

I'm sorry. I'm seriously am sorry. As a friend, I've failed. As a 'mummie', I've also failed! I know you guys have been trying so hard to throw away the distance between us and I appreciated there. Its not ur fault we are drifted apart. Its mine. I'm the one who is busy, I'm the one who never takes time to hang out with you guys. I know I suck being a friend. And i do not have guts to say I'm your best friend because in reality, I'm not! I don't even know a single thing about you guys! I tried, I really tried to close the distance but its impossible no matter how hard we try. Because its too late for me now to let go all of my responsibilities. I just cant drop everything I am now. I'm sorry. But no matter what you are still my only best friends. And I know even though I'm not for you, I do hope I still have a place somewhere in your heart. I just hope somehow miracles could happen, that, we could be as close again as last time. I seriously miss that. I couldn't stop crying thinking how much far apart we have drifted. That is why sometimes I dare not to be so close to you because I know I'll disappoint u as a friend again. This has been on my mind ever since this beginning of the year. I even told my dilemma and feelings about this to a counsellor. Pouring my hearts out about how left out I felt being with you guys. So after a long thinking, I've decided to drop being head prefect. As in stop trying hard to get that post. Because everytime I see you guys during rounding, I know you all are just being happy to see me and say hi, but I always reply "Shhhh..!" It hurts me saying that to you. And yes you are right, after time passes, we have becomes friends of hi and byes. I just don want us to be labelled as that. I don't want! I really do wanna share secrets with you and hang out with you. I really do. But I don't know why that couldn't happen. I really don't want us to go on our own ways.

Please. Please, don't leave me alone =(
I'm sorry.
I want to promise to be a better friend, but I know I'll just failed somehow.
But please, I don't want it to end.

Friends forever?